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Self – Love | The Real Deal

There are a variety of different reasons we end up in a state of health that is less than optimum.  Low energy, excess weight, unexplained aches and pains, unhealthy habits and a lack of direction are all a result of some form of disconnect between what is going on on the inside and what is going on on the outside. And a lot of the time it can be as a result of us simply not stopping for a moment and reconnecting with ourselves, in a loving way, rather than the reflex reaction of chastising ourselves for why ever it is that we think we are feeling (or looking) poorly. 

Self – love is a term that is tossed around a lot these days and while a superficial understanding of what it means to love ourselves would say we need to take more candlelit bubble baths (which I am all for BTW!), a true love is an internal feeling of unconditional kindness, understanding, care and forgiveness.

So ask yourself, do you love yourself unconditionally? Do you speak only kind words to yourself? Are you very understanding if you make a mistake, do you forgive yourself easily? Is caring for your health and well being your top priority? 

If you answered no to any of those questions, a little work on generating some Self – love is important. Here are some things that you can do:-

  1. Be mindful of how you speak to yourself. Try using kind and complimentary words only, even if you don’t feel like you believe them, the more mindful you are of the internal dialogue the easier it will become.
  2. Stay focused on what you need, not what you want. Often times, bad habits are developed when we ignore our basic needs. If you are feeling low, you should talk about it to someone who loves you and internalize their kind words. If we are constantly seeking external quick fixes (see shopping, drinking, eating, gossiping, Netflix binging, self – sabotaging) to fill our wants rather than dealing with what we really need we start to lose the connection we have to our Self.
  3. Practice putting your health and well being first. Never ever let anyone tell you or make you feel like you are being selfish when you say NO to something for the benefit of your health and well being.
  4. Set boundaries. As above, never let anyone else dictate to you what you do or how you feel. Once you start to set your boundaries and own them, no one will question you again. Confidence in what YOU NEED rather than what you or anyone else WANTS is key.
  5. Do regular “Negativity Detoxing” see people, media, your own internal dialogue, any activity that triggers emotions like guilt or jealousy .
  6. Forgive yourself and other regularly. Let that S*** go!!! I love the exercise of sitting down and writing a letter to someone who has hurt you, telling your story, letting all of the hurt and feelings of being wronged out on the page and then at the end writing “I forgive you and I am now moving on”, internalize the feeling of forgiveness (it will be hard but so worth it!). Burn the letter! 
  7. Believe in your worthiness. Set your intention, write it out, believe in your worthiness to have it. 

This is really deep work, that we can literally spend a whole lifetime only scratching the surface. However, awareness is key and once that little seed of self-worth is planted doing the work regularly can reap so much internal peace and happiness.

As always, I love hearing from you all. Let me know how you are, if this article resonates with you, or if you have any life changing tips to share with me!

Love + Light,

Alex xx

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